BDSM
BDSM is:
Bondage and Discipline
In BDSM, bondage and discipline involves CONSENSUAL erotic play, including physical restraint, punishment and humiliation, for the pleasure of ALL parties involved in the activity.
Sexual pleasure may be achieved in a play session by using discipline to establish dominance in the sexual relationship. This could be done by using various levels of restraints and often pain - ONLY IF THOSE INVOLVED GIVE CONSENT!
Types of Bondage & Discipline:
All of these methods can be safe when full consent is gained from the partner and when performed correctly - safe words are a must for BDSM to ensure comfort for those participating.
Dominance and Submission
Dominance and submission refers to the relationship between partners in BDSM practises; one takes the role of the dominant partner (dom, top) and one takes the role of the submissive partner (sub, bottom).
Dominant partners might enjoy training their submissive partner, using punishment as a tool for pleasure. Submissive partners might enjoy a level of pain during a play session, as well as being humiliated, punished or bound.
Sexual excitement and pleasure can be experienced from both partners through communication about what is ok and not ok to do, using safe words to stop any situations that might be out of one's comfort zone.
Sadism and Masochism
Sadism is a sexual preference that involves gaining pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation on a consenting partner. Those who enjoy sadism are often the dominant partner in a BDSM play session.
Masochism is a sexual preference that involves gaining sexual gratification and enjoyment from experiencing pain and humiliation. Those who enjoy masochism are often the submissive partner in a BDSM play session.
Sadomasochism should be taken as a form of consensual sexual expression, not as a form of everyday aggression, which is a large negative assumption surrounding the topic. If kept consensual and safe, sadomasochism is another sexual practice that fulfils sexual fantasy and pleasures.
BDSM Musts!
BDSM can fulfil sexual fantasies and provide intimacy between and D&S relationship, however it is VITAL that it is safe and consensual on all sides.
Aftercare
At the end of a scene/play session, aftercare is hugely required to provide comfort after an intense emotional experience. Removal of any restraints or items involved in the scene is vital, going slowly and carefully as to not shock anyone involved.
Aftercare is usually provided to the submissive partner, although it is not strict to this. The dom should provide verbal comfort, attention and reassurance to the sub, offering water and sweet foods to raise blood sugar levels.
It is important to perform aftercare so that a 'drop' is avoided. This occurs after raised levels of adrenaline and endorphins caused from the BDSM play suddenly drop, causing an imbalance which might lead to mental health concerns.
BDSM is:
- Bondage & Discipline
- Dominance & Submission
- Sadism & Masochism
Bondage and Discipline
In BDSM, bondage and discipline involves CONSENSUAL erotic play, including physical restraint, punishment and humiliation, for the pleasure of ALL parties involved in the activity.
Sexual pleasure may be achieved in a play session by using discipline to establish dominance in the sexual relationship. This could be done by using various levels of restraints and often pain - ONLY IF THOSE INVOLVED GIVE CONSENT!
Types of Bondage & Discipline:
- whipping
- rope restraint/tying
- hair pulling
- verbal commands
- wax
- suspension
- handcuffs
- gagging
- spanking
All of these methods can be safe when full consent is gained from the partner and when performed correctly - safe words are a must for BDSM to ensure comfort for those participating.
Dominance and Submission
Dominance and submission refers to the relationship between partners in BDSM practises; one takes the role of the dominant partner (dom, top) and one takes the role of the submissive partner (sub, bottom).
Dominant partners might enjoy training their submissive partner, using punishment as a tool for pleasure. Submissive partners might enjoy a level of pain during a play session, as well as being humiliated, punished or bound.
Sexual excitement and pleasure can be experienced from both partners through communication about what is ok and not ok to do, using safe words to stop any situations that might be out of one's comfort zone.
Sadism and Masochism
Sadism is a sexual preference that involves gaining pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation on a consenting partner. Those who enjoy sadism are often the dominant partner in a BDSM play session.
Masochism is a sexual preference that involves gaining sexual gratification and enjoyment from experiencing pain and humiliation. Those who enjoy masochism are often the submissive partner in a BDSM play session.
Sadomasochism should be taken as a form of consensual sexual expression, not as a form of everyday aggression, which is a large negative assumption surrounding the topic. If kept consensual and safe, sadomasochism is another sexual practice that fulfils sexual fantasy and pleasures.
BDSM Musts!
BDSM can fulfil sexual fantasies and provide intimacy between and D&S relationship, however it is VITAL that it is safe and consensual on all sides.
- choose a safeword (when feeling uncomfortable this should be used as the ultimate STOP)
- set boundaries before play, what is ok and what isn't
- precautions: always be prepared to stop when needed, e.g. when using rope, always have scissors nearby to cut the rope if untying is going to take too long
- ALWAYS be safe, even when close to orgasm! Do not increase pain to enhance an orgasm as it could cause major injury
Aftercare
At the end of a scene/play session, aftercare is hugely required to provide comfort after an intense emotional experience. Removal of any restraints or items involved in the scene is vital, going slowly and carefully as to not shock anyone involved.
Aftercare is usually provided to the submissive partner, although it is not strict to this. The dom should provide verbal comfort, attention and reassurance to the sub, offering water and sweet foods to raise blood sugar levels.
It is important to perform aftercare so that a 'drop' is avoided. This occurs after raised levels of adrenaline and endorphins caused from the BDSM play suddenly drop, causing an imbalance which might lead to mental health concerns.
